Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

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June 20, 2006

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On the Subject of Dyslexic Cows…

April 27, 2006

Today was a great day.

Quite contradictory to the post of yesterday, today was good! Music tour was sooo much fun…

Okay, so S.L. Singers went out to the elementaries to recruit members for choir, and we had a great time. But the real fun didn't come until later…

Lunch time.

We had the choice of Wendy's, McDonald's, or Taco Bell. We picked Wendy's.

So I'm not completely hungry, and I think, hey, if they'll give me a Wendy's kids meal that would probably be enough, and I'll save some money, right?

Nooooo.

The employees start getting everything out, and my cashier lady looks at me (standing a foot taller than her), and half-laughing in a somewhat crude way, says, "Here you go…"

The cup I get is smaller than one I have EVER seen. My frosty, which I expected to be  the size of a can of pop, is the size of a Dixie cup. I am not even joking.

So she gives it to me and gives me this really colorful kids bag, and wow, aren't I cool? So I get to eating… I get maybe 10 fries in my little cardboard box, and a small burger.

So I go up and ask for a medium frosty. My reply?

"What, the first one wasn't big enough?"

A frosty later and then half way through eating, someone wants to open my toy.

(Psst – this is the good part.)

I pull out these little cards; jokes and riddle cards. At first  it was like, great, stupid jokes and riddles… but they really turned out to be different from I expected.

So we spend about half an hour eating and trading all the cards around, saying all these completely pointless jokes… then we pay McDonald's a visit.

Wow… we sit down at a table, and there are lots of other people there already, and the deck is just ripped apart! Cards fly everywhere, everyone's laughing at these stupid, stupid jokes…

"Knock-knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cargo."
"Cargo who?"
"No, cargo beep-beep!"

"Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?"
"Because she kept running away from the ball!"

"What's brown and sticky?"
"A stick!"

"What has four legs, a tail, and goes "Ooooooom!"
"I dunno, what?"
"A dyslexic cow!"

"Why was Cinderella so bad at baseball?"
"She had a pumpkin for a coach!"

So that was our day, in a nutshell. I kept my miniature frosty cup (which, coincidentally, I am drinking out of right now) and everyone went home happy.

And tomorrow — Survivor Day.

-Rob

A Phone Message with Gregory…

April 22, 2006

Ringer: Ring… ring… ring… ring…

Gregory: Hello?

Rob: Hey, Gregory, its Rob, are you busy?

Gregory: …hello?

Rob: Greg, its Rob.

Gregory: This is Greg…
 
Rob: Yes, I know… and this is Rob. Can you talk now?

Gregory: I guess you're not there…

Rob: What? Yes, I am!

Gregory: This is Greg, (number here). I guess you can leave a message or something…

Rob: Um… what? Wait, what?!

Answering Machine Lady: At the tone, please leave your name, number and message and you will be responded to as soon as possible.

Rob: Wha… wait… hey, wait a second!

Beeper: BEEP.

–/-/–

Thanks for the answering machine message, Greg. Sigh…